By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Aisha is here!
We've been waiting for Aisha Tyler for a year now. She always makes Ubisoft's conferences fun to watch. I'm Nintendork 13 13, and Rawk is himself. The Taliban shot our other staff members. Yikes.
 |
| "OBJECTION!" |
Nintendork 13 13 5:54 pm
Would you have sex with Aisha?
RawkHawk2010 5:54 pm
yes
Nintendork 13 13 5:54 pm
(This is totally not in the log)
UBISOFT HAS STARTED EARLY
WHAT
THAT'S A FIRST
IT'S A RABBID
RawkHawk2010 5:55 pm
I feel like hair is the biggest contributor to feminimity.
Nintendork 13 13 5:55 pm
WE'RE LIVE
DAMMIT RAWK WE GOT A RABBID IN A PIZZA BOX
AIN'T NO TIME TO TALK ABOUT THAT
RawkHawk2010 5:55 pm
oh fuck
Nintendork 13 13 5:55 pm
THE RABBID
IS PEEING IN A PLANT
RawkHawk2010 5:56 pm
Rabbids are hideous characters.
Nintendork 13 13 5:56 pm
Brace yourself for the next next gen!
Goat simulator
Turn on your devices!
RawkHawk2010 5:56 pm
Even computers?
Nintendork 13 13 5:56 pm
yes
"Enjoy the show"
Cool music.
I don't have anymore grape soda help
RawkHawk2010 5:57 pm
watch doegs
RawkHawk2010 5:58 pm
That Gamespot logo looks like a Nazi brand.
Nintendork 13 13 5:58 pm
The GameSpot logo looks photoshopped onto his shirt.
RawkHawk2010 5:59 pm
so this "began" early
Nintendork 13 13 5:59 pm
Yeah.
They forced early log.
RawkHawk2010 5:59 pm
but will really begin late?
Nintendork 13 13 5:59 pm
.............
Yes?
RawkHawk2010 5:59 pm
...
Wait.
What if that was the entire conference?
Nintendork 13 13 5:59 pm
...
lol
gone live
RawkHawk2010 6:00 pm
girl wood
Nintendork 13 13 6:00 pm
black screen
black bitch
black friday
RawkHawk2010 6:00 pm
lol
Nintendork 13 13 6:00 pm
But that was last year.
This year
UBISOFT PRESENTS
...BUFFERING
*refresh*
RawkHawk2010 6:01 pm
is this beyond good and evil 2
Nintendork 13 13 6:01 pm
I dunno I'm refreshing
it's an ad
for battlefield
why did I turn off adblock for Gamespot
...TURN OFF ADBLOCK ON KOOPATV PLEASE
Okay on stream
Some Taliban guy
And a monkey.
(The monkey must be Kamek)
"oh fuck"
RawkHawk2010 6:02 pm
monkey got shot
Nintendork 13 13 6:02 pm
Alternatively, the monkey is like the CoD dog.
Oh it's dead? fuck
Guess that's why Kamek isn't here.
RawkHawk2010 6:03 pm
anderson cooper
Nintendork 13 13 6:03 pm
...lol
Anderson Cooper very particular.
Stop
shoot
They sound the same if you're french.
Anderson Cooper stabs.
help you're being hugged in first person
Nintendork 13 13 6:04 pm
What's a +1?
Selfie
(See last log with EA)
Far Cry 4!
RawkHawk2010 6:05 pm
Well that didn't look terrible.
Nintendork 13 13 6:06 pm
Dan Hay.
He doesn't talk like a french dude.
RawkHawk2010 6:06 pm
A far cry from anything great but hey.
Nintendork 13 13 6:06 pm
lol
RawkHawk2010 6:06 pm
"You're fucked."
Nintendork 13 13 6:06 pm
He's leaving.
And on comes
RawkHawk2010 6:06 pm
aisha
Nintendork 13 13 6:06 pm
ON COMES
YEEEEEEES
AISHA
AISHA
"Holy shit!"
Nintendork 13 13 6:07 pm
Print-screened her.
RawkHawk2010 6:07 pm
terrifying
Nintendork 13 13 6:07 pm
"This show is going to be amazing."
"It's 420 in this bitch."
RawkHawk2010 6:08 pm
"hella fucking smokey"
Nintendork 13 13 6:08 pm
why did the camera go to an audience member
"compellative"
RawkHawk2010 6:08 pm
These Ubisoft conferences keep getting progressively edgier.
Nintendork 13 13 6:08 pm
WATCH_DOGS applause
Not asked to be in this next game.
Dancing not one of her skills.
Just Dance 2015
Pac-man shirt
Nintendork 13 13 6:09 pm
...or just a happy face on a yellow shirt
RawkHawk2010 6:09 pm
that fox
Nintendork 13 13 6:09 pm
Is this going to be the only Wii U tritle?
Like last year?
Chad Joseph
RawkHawk2010 6:09 pm
must mean What Does The Fox Say
Why is everyone in this a mulatto?
Nintendork 13 13 6:10 pm
Rabbid sighting
dat house party
Wii U logo on there.
Nintendork 13 13 6:11 pm
Masculine girl like Aisha.
She's not staying on the stage to tower over everyone.
RawkHawk2010 6:12 pm
holy moly
Nintendork 13 13 6:12 pm
Smartphone
RawkHawk2010 6:12 pm
the forehead on this lad
Nintendork 13 13 6:12 pm
Herr Forehead
RawkHawk2010 6:12 pm
IT'S HUGE
Nintendork 13 13 6:12 pm
dat Apollo Justice with normal hair
RawkHawk2010 6:12 pm
where is ryu?
Nintendork 13 13 6:12 pm
His Internet probably died.
Our French correspondents both had unfortunate incidents to them.
Wot happened to French KoopaTV?
wtf
dudes behind him
Nintendork 13 13 6:14 pm
Guy there looks like Marlon Rimes
RawkHawk2010 6:14 pm
is this Lady Gaga?
Nintendork 13 13 6:14 pm
...I dunno.
buffer
ended song
RawkHawk2010 6:15 pm
Elberta?
Nintendork 13 13 6:15 pm
Oh Aisha is back
RawkHawk2010 6:15 pm
The fuck kind of name is "Elberta"?
Nintendork 13 13 6:15 pm
Thought it was a gay/French guy announcing that.
RawkHawk2010 6:15 pm
lol
Nintendork 13 13 6:15 pm
This stream is dying
Now there are dudes with guns in the background
Nintendork 13 13 6:16 pm
gonna go to Twitch
AHH
RawkHawk2010 6:16 pm
petter mannerfelt
Nintendork 13 13 6:16 pm
THE DIVISION
CRAPPING MYSELF WITH JOY
YES
Aye-eesha
RawkHawk2010 6:16 pm
link me to twirtch
Nintendork 13 13 6:17 pm
http://www.twitch.tv/twitch
Ubisoft presents
A massive entertainment production
RawkHawk2010 6:17 pm
more post-apocalyptica
Nintendork 13 13 6:18 pm
shh
Nintendork 13 13 6:18 pm
It's The Division therefore it's great.
weird bedsheets though
RawkHawk2010 6:18 pm
is this the "terrifying" Aisha referred to?
Nintendork 13 13 6:18 pm
yes
I'm terrified.
"I'm sorry Saraaaah"
car
No one watched... no one saw...
Nintendork 13 13 6:20 pm
Invisible tragedy.
Lefthand hold
Pick it up
gunman vs. Taliban
Taliban surrounded and runs.
RawkHawk2010 6:21 pm
Wasn't there someone in Metroid Other M called "The Divider"
?
Nintendork 13 13 6:21 pm
The Deleter.
RawkHawk2010 6:21 pm
oh
lol
Tom Clancy's THE DELETION
Nintendork 13 13 6:21 pm
If they were The Divider I wouldn't talk shit about Other M.
THE DIVISION
coming 2015
RawkHawk2010 6:21 pm
WAIT
WHAAAAAAAAAAAT
Nintendork 13 13 6:22 pm
wot's happening now
RawkHawk2010 6:22 pm
I thought this was canceled!
Nintendork 13 13 6:22 pm
THE CREW
Nintendork 13 13 6:22 pm
...Well it's obviously NOT canceled.
The entirety of the US.
RawkHawk2010 6:22 pm
unless it got uncanceled for E3
Nintendork 13 13 6:22 pm
No loading.
True expansive mayhem.
Take a look at The Crew.
Miami to Los Angeles.
"The following video consists entirely of gameplay footage"
RawkHawk2010 6:23 pm
why not just take a roadtrip in your own car
Nintendork 13 13 6:23 pm
Gas money is more expensive than buying the game.
RawkHawk2010 6:23 pm
+ Xbox Live subscription
Nintendork 13 13 6:23 pm
Also this driver goes over the yellow line several times.
RawkHawk2010 6:23 pm
show faula
Nintendork 13 13 6:24 pm
So they'd get arrested in real life.
RawkHawk2010 6:24 pm
Have him try to go through the Historic District
Nintendork 13 13 6:24 pm
lol
Fergie
Return of Fergus from E3 2013?
RawkHawk2010 6:24 pm
julian gary?
Nintendork 13 13 6:25 pm
"I'm a hugger"
Bear Hugger Aisha
RawkHawk2010 6:25 pm
geirghty
Guy has good fashion.
Nintendork 13 13 6:25 pm
Gerighty
Cargo shorts
funny sneakers
Leather jacket.
Nintendork 13 13 6:26 pm
Route Nine-Nine-Nine
(...909)
RawkHawk2010 6:27 pm
where's prof
Nintendork 13 13 6:27 pm
I dunno.
Closed beeta
thecrewgame.com/beta
"You say beeta in the most adorable way." - Aisha
RawkHawk2010 6:28 pm
I thought he said Vita.
Nintendork 13 13 6:28 pm
November 11 2014
lol
"You can't drive into the past."
RawkHawk2010 6:28 pm
assassin's creed
Nintendork 13 13 6:28 pm
AC segue?
yup
RawkHawk2010 6:28 pm
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuummmm
we just saw this
Nintendork 13 13 6:28 pm
"Good afternoo'."
Alex Amancio
RawkHawk2010 6:28 pm
"poverty and hungary"
Nintendork 13 13 6:29 pm
1789
George Washington
...(Probably not)
Bird-hunting.
RawkHawk2010 6:30 pm
dammit devs
quit showing worse trailers of stuff we saw at MS's!
Nintendork 13 13 6:30 pm
Shh let him promote Trayvon's hoodies.
RawkHawk2010 6:31 pm
I still want a Civil War Assassin's Creed.
Nintendork 13 13 6:32 pm
Are they gonna put that guy's head on a pike too?
October 28 2014
"Are you ready to rule the world? .........Thank you."
Nintendork 13 13 6:33 pm
1793 Reign of Terror
Kill Captain Xavier
RawkHawk2010 6:34 pm
brb
Nintendork 13 13 6:34 pm
...
He doesn't catch the thief.
Nintendork 13 13 6:36 pm
Sword-fight.
Silently going up stairs sneaking on dudes.
RawkHawk2010 6:37 pm
Yo.
I've decided I'll watch the Invitational.
Nintendork 13 13 6:37 pm
...You were going to anyway. <_<
RawkHawk2010 6:37 pm
I was?
Nintendork 13 13 6:38 pm
yes
RawkHawk2010 6:38 pm
...yeah I guess I was.
Nintendork 13 13 6:38 pm
That's what you said.
>_>;
Nintendork 13 13 6:38 pm
Now assassin has to locate Captain Xavier
RawkHawk2010 6:38 pm
I thought I was gonna boycott the Smash juggalos.
Nintendork 13 13 6:38 pm
No, that's stupid.
Robespierre reference.
RawkHawk2010 6:39 pm
who
was that the geologist
Nintendork 13 13 6:39 pm
...The geologist?
RawkHawk2010 6:39 pm
robespierre
Nintendork 13 13 6:39 pm
I'll tell you who he is after the stream.
RawkHawk2010 6:39 pm
This reminds me of that scene in Radiant Dawn.
Nintendork 13 13 6:39 pm
With Lucia?
RawkHawk2010 6:39 pm
Yeah.
Nintendork 13 13 6:39 pm
Yeah.
Great cutscene.
RawkHawk2010 6:40 pm
...except he didn't save her.
>.>
Nintendork 13 13 6:40 pm
Assassin is like Shinon in the tree.
wot
She lived. <_<
RawkHawk2010 6:40 pm
Didn't her head just get cut off?
Nintendork 13 13 6:40 pm
...In Assassin's Creed?
RawkHawk2010 6:40 pm
Yes.
Nintendork 13 13 6:40 pm
oh
...
I dunno.
I didn't see.
Wot did he kill the dude for then?
Aisha says it was awesome.
RawkHawk2010 6:41 pm
mario kart lightning
Nintendork 13 13 6:41 pm
Fitness for gamers
RawkHawk2010 6:41 pm
is this a mormon
Nintendork 13 13 6:41 pm
Shape Up.
You're slightly ahead.
Hug.
RawkHawk2010 6:42 pm
I'm getting a mormony vibe.
Nintendork 13 13 6:42 pm
"incredibly muscular"
"Fitness is boring."
Nintendork 13 13 6:42 pm
Charles Huteau
Partnership with Microsoft.
Xbox One exclusive.
Dat Aisha smile.
Punch asteroids.
Aisha looks like she wants to laugh out loud.
PIANO STEP!
"That's me next to me."
I have no idea what he's saying.
Too much accent.
Need Kamek or MS90 here.
Ubisoft uses Eye of the Tiger again.
'cause Rayman Legends wasn't enough.
RawkHawk2010 6:44 pm
is that why Rayman Legends got away with that shit?
Nintendork 13 13 6:44 pm
Because they licensed it?
RawkHawk2010 6:44 pm
Because Ubisoft already licenses all this music anyway?
Nintendork 13 13 6:44 pm
Yes.
His previous self got killed by a safe.
US vs. The France
RawkHawk2010 6:46 pm
Ubisoft should work with Nintendo to make a Glass Joe game.
Nintendork 13 13 6:46 pm
lol
Making fun of American tourists
and playing football with his feet
Nintendork 13 13 6:46 pm
American guy wearing red shirt
blue jeans
And sneakers with white shoelaces.
and buffering
Joe's Donuts
USA wins!
RawkHawk2010 6:48 pm
this conference is giving me a french enema
Nintendork 13 13 6:48 pm
I think it's hysterical.
RawkHawk2010 6:48 pm
I don't.
Nintendork 13 13 6:48 pm
"I don't know why that was so funny to watch." - Aisha
RawkHawk2010 6:48 pm
I have emotional scarring caused by French people you know!
Nintendork 13 13 6:48 pm
Valianrt Hearts: The Great War.
Nintendork 13 13 6:48 pm
UbiArt framework!
4 dudes + canine companion.
(assymetric gameplay?)
RawkHawk2010 6:50 pm
Art style reminds me of Scribblenauts.
Nintendork 13 13 6:50 pm
I like it.
Nintendork 13 13 6:51 pm
Poor doggie.
RawkHawk2010 6:51 pm
meh
looked like some point and click shit.
Nintendork 13 13 6:52 pm
It's Ubisoft CEO!
RawkHawk2010 6:52 pm
eve gitmo
Nintendork 13 13 6:52 pm
lol
RawkHawk2010 6:52 pm
gimo*
Nintendork 13 13 6:52 pm
gitmo
RawkHawk2010 6:52 pm
didn't even intend that lol
Nintendork 13 13 6:52 pm
lol
"You looked just a leeetle beet shorter."
Yves Guillemot
RawkHawk2010 6:53 pm
There hasn't been a mention of girl wood.
Nintendork 13 13 6:53 pm
I thought girl wood was her "my body is ready".
One more game.
RawkHawk2010 6:53 pm
beyond good and evil 2
Nintendork 13 13 6:53 pm
(WATCH_DOGS dlc)
pre-alpha
Team Raven vs. Team Rogue
Reinforce the kids' room.
(This is plaers chatting by the way)
......
Nintendork 13 13 6:55 pm
...
buffer why
1 2 3
RawkHawk2010 6:55 pm
showing concern for his teammates
That's So very Raven of him.
Nintendork 13 13 6:55 pm
Your team has the hostage
...
lol
The show's name is "That's so Raven"
No very.
RawkHawk2010 6:56 pm
that's why the very isn't capitalized =-O
Nintendork 13 13 6:56 pm
Enemy is camping outside.
"shit"
(Enemies always camp in these games!)
"RAH, HE'S IN THE BATHROOM"
"Shit, I MISSED."
(dat girl gamer)
"sorry for losing the hostage"
"nah man don't worry about it"
Nintendork 13 13 6:57 pm
Ubisoft promoting cordial behaviour.
(Unlike some other companies)
RawkHawk2010 6:57 pm
this is boring
Nintendork 13 13 6:58 pm
Wii U Gamepad out
Drone
RawkHawk2010 6:58 pm
That looked like Ann Coulter.
Nintendork 13 13 6:58 pm
....
RawkHawk2010 6:58 pm
The hostage.
Nintendork 13 13 6:58 pm
Ann Coulter wouldn't let herself be taken hostage in a Boston suburb.
hostage dropped
Ann Coulter rescued.
"I'm dead, I'M DEAD"
RawkHawk2010 6:59 pm
XD
RawkHawk2010 6:59 pm
I thought the protagonist shot her.
That's what it looked like.
good god
Nintendork 13 13 6:59 pm
Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six Siege
...
RawkHawk2010 7:00 pm
That video was nothing but her screaming.
Nintendork 13 13 7:00 pm
wot about Tom Clancy's The Division?!
RawkHawk2010 7:00 pm
...
Nintendork 13 13 7:00 pm
...
RawkHawk2010 7:00 pm
this made Aisha cry?
Nintendork 13 13 7:00 pm
"It's been six years before we got a Rainbow Six title"
"GAAAH"
RawkHawk2010 7:00 pm
Or was she laughing because it was so stupid?
Nintendork 13 13 7:00 pm
lol
RawkHawk2010 7:00 pm
no girl wood
Nintendork 13 13 7:01 pm
"THIS. IS. UBISOFT. YOU KNOW THE DEAL."
RawkHawk2010 7:01 pm
Terrible conference.
Nintendork 13 13 7:01 pm
"COME TO THE GAME FLOOR AND SEE THAT SHIT."
...well better than EA's
RawkHawk2010 7:01 pm
Microsoft is still winning, how about that.
True.
Nintendork 13 13 7:01 pm
...I thought Ubisoft would beat Microsoft.
But... it didn't happen.
Huh.
Nintendork 13 13 7:01 pm
Twitch guy is making fun of Aisha.
So...
...Thoughts?
...I liked the dog. <_<
Nintendork 13 13 7:03 pm
And Anderson Cooper.
RawkHawk2010 7:04 pm
Yeah that bit was aight.
Can't even remember anything else.
Nintendork 13 13 7:04 pm
...Yeah I don't remember.
RawkHawk2010 7:04 pm
So far I give Microsoft a +C.
Ubisoft a -D.
Nintendork 13 13 7:04 pm
...The letter comes first.
EA F?
RawkHawk2010 7:04 pm
yeha
Nintendork 13 13 7:05 pm
Microsoft B-
RawkHawk2010 7:05 pm
When's Sony?
Nintendork 13 13 7:05 pm
Ubisoft C-
EA F
Sony in 2 hours.
Nintendork 13 13 7:06 pm
...Yeah.
See you then, reader-land!
 |
| RIP, Call of Duty: Ghosts dogs. |
We'll cover the next conference soon. Hopefully we get our staff back by then. Stay tuned!
If you want to watch the conference before this one, click here!
To see the one after this, click here.
For Ubisoft's conference from last year, click here.
What about Ubisoft's conference from NEXT year?
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