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Wednesday, October 30, 2013

(Part 2) KoopaTV's Live Reactions to The Last Of Us's Story!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Nathan Drake has nothing else to do.

Continuing where we left off last time, the [Koopa Keep] AIM Blast is spectating Naughty Dog's supposed gaming masterpiece, The Last Of Us. Here are our reactions to the second third of the game, as seen by the following video. You're free to watch and follow along, of course. I recommend opening another window with the video and watch it that way so you can scroll down this page to read the text. I'm Nintendork 13 13, and RawkHawk is... RawkHawk2010.


RawkHawk2010 10:35 pm
    when i say start start

 Nintendork 13 13 10:35 pm
    Okay.

 RawkHawk2010 10:35 pm
    start
    i forgot what even happened last time.
    Oh.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:36 pm
    Their car
    crashed
    into a wall?

 RawkHawk2010 10:36 pm
    Yeah.
    Who the hell is this?

 Nintendork 13 13 10:36 pm
    FALCON KICK

 RawkHawk2010 10:37 pm
    Where the fuck is Nathan's gun?
    And he has GRENADES?

 Nintendork 13 13 10:37 pm
    GNARLY grenades.
    Also
    note
    flashlight effects
    suck.

 RawkHawk2010 10:38 pm
    yeah

 Nintendork 13 13 10:38 pm
    We should find out what CLF thinks.

 RawkHawk2010 10:38 pm
    who

 Nintendork 13 13 10:38 pm
    oh
    CPF
    Candlepower Forums

 RawkHawk2010 10:38 pm
    (I was expecting Nathan to take fall damage from that jump.)
    Oh yeah.
    THEM.
    (We should check up on those guys later.)

 Nintendork 13 13 10:39 pm
    KoopaTV doesn't know about THEM yet.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:40 pm
    Tourist?

 RawkHawk2010 10:40 pm
    I like how NPCs conveniently have echoing voices.
    ...when it's important to the plot.
    ROFL.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:40 pm
    WHAT THE

 RawkHawk2010 10:41 pm
    Nathan's tendency to be a pushover finally did him in
    ...
    bathroom zombies.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:41 pm
    Didn't this scene happen before?

 RawkHawk2010 10:42 pm
    qte to not drown

 Nintendork 13 13 10:42 pm
    Well, it's the same thing as before
    underwater.

 RawkHawk2010 10:42 pm
    qte to not drown again

 Nintendork 13 13 10:42 pm
    And QTE to grab gun, actually.
    oh
    nevermind
    QTE not to drown
    Cutscene to grab gun.
    A piano.

 RawkHawk2010 10:43 pm
    Wow.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:43 pm
    QTE to play it?

 RawkHawk2010 10:43 pm
    Nathan's a dick.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:43 pm
    Well duh.
    He's Nathan Drake.

 RawkHawk2010 10:43 pm
    Yeah this is a missed opportunity for a much-needed mini-game.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:44 pm
    Ellie is keeping her head below Nathan's.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:44 pm
    Ellie also reminds me of Jade from Jackie Chan Adventures.

 RawkHawk2010 10:44 pm
    ...hmm.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:44 pm
    MURDER SIMULATOR
    TEACHES KIDS
    HOW TO SHOOT SCHOOLS

 RawkHawk2010 10:46 pm
    So if Ellie is Jade...

 RawkHawk2010 10:46 pm
    ...are the Fireflies The Black Hand?
    (except actually competent?)

 Nintendork 13 13 10:46 pm
    no
    We haven't seen a Firefly in hours.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:48 pm
    random black guy
    getting beaten up

 RawkHawk2010 10:49 pm
    You're gonna die tonight motherfucker!

 Nintendork 13 13 10:49 pm
    lol

 RawkHawk2010 10:50 pm
    toy room
    This is a terrible "hideout."
    It's fucking more exposed than the place they were just in.
    ...unless that wasn't it.
    This guy reminds me of Donald Glover.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:53 pm
    Well Fireflies are finally mentioned again.

 RawkHawk2010 10:53 pm
    so um
    Where did the zombies even come from?

 Nintendork 13 13 10:54 pm
    An infection.
    "Goes down tonight."

 RawkHawk2010 10:54 pm
    ...and where did that come from?

 Nintendork 13 13 10:54 pm
    (You're gonna die tonight, motherfucker!")

 RawkHawk2010 10:54 pm
    Will we find out post-credits?

 Nintendork 13 13 10:54 pm
    I dunno
    Flashlights.
    TWO flashlights.
    One from Nathan and the other from black guy.
    Random killing.

 RawkHawk2010 10:55 pm
    A CPFer's wet dream.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:55 pm
    Searchlights.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:55 pm
    Nathan being stepping stone again.
    Maybe it cost Naughty Dog a lot to make the stepping stone model for Nathan

 RawkHawk2010 10:55 pm
    (You know, there's surely a The Last of Us topic on that forum orgasming over all of this. =-O )

 Nintendork 13 13 10:56 pm
    and they need to keep reusing it to get a good ROI.
    Niggas abandoned Nathan.
    QTE

 RawkHawk2010 10:56 pm
    in the midst of gunfire
    delightful
    lol
    I thought he just died.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:56 pm
    These guys suck at aiming guns.

 RawkHawk2010 10:57 pm
    Think of the gunshots more as ambience

 Nintendork 13 13 10:57 pm
    fail car
    JUMP

 Nintendork 13 13 10:57 pm
    BAM

 RawkHawk2010 10:57 pm
    wtf is even happening

 Nintendork 13 13 10:57 pm
    They jumped off a bridge
    or something
    into a stream
    and slammed into a rock
    and now the traitorous niggas came back.
    Nathan is pissed off at being alive.
    He wanted "You're gonna die tonight, motherfucker!" to happen!

 Nintendork 13 13 11:00 pm
    Flashlights out?
    CPF attentive.

 RawkHawk2010 11:00 pm
    ...she just crawled through there reeeeeeeeeaally quickly.
    Naughty Dog perpetuating the stereotype that black people can't swim.
    Jesus Christ.
    Is half this game opening gates?

 Nintendork 13 13 11:03 pm
    The other half is going over walls.
    With Nathan being a stepping stone.

 RawkHawk2010 11:03 pm
    If this guy was in Smash
    his moveset would be awful.

 Nintendork 13 13 11:03 pm
    QTEs in Smash?

 RawkHawk2010 11:03 pm
    (In PS All Stars it'd be even worse.)

 Nintendork 13 13 11:04 pm
    Isn't Nathan Drake already in All Stars?

 Nintendork 13 13 11:05 pm
    Ellie didn't even need to ask Nathan to stepping stone.
    He just assumed the position wordlessly.

 RawkHawk2010 11:05 pm
    teleporting collectibles

 Nintendork 13 13 11:06 pm
    uh

 RawkHawk2010 11:06 pm
    ............

 Nintendork 13 13 11:06 pm
    cars don't

 RawkHawk2010 11:06 pm
    How

 Nintendork 13 13 11:06 pm
    act like that

 RawkHawk2010 11:06 pm
    did that

 Nintendork 13 13 11:06 pm
    after being shot

 RawkHawk2010 11:06 pm
    set the vehicle on fire?

 Nintendork 13 13 11:06 pm
    yes

 RawkHawk2010 11:06 pm
    He fucking shot a DUDE
    on TOP of the car
    and it exploded

 Nintendork 13 13 11:07 pm
    Ya.

 Nintendork 13 13 11:07 pm
    "Remember, you can change difficulty at any time!"
    WOAH
    MUSIC
    MUSIC TRACK
    Another music.

 RawkHawk2010 11:08 pm
    Did Tommy die?

 Nintendork 13 13 11:08 pm
    We don't know.

 RawkHawk2010 11:08 pm
    vrooom vrrooooooooom
    (NO_LIMIT_NIGGA)

 RawkHawk2010 11:10 pm
    sam to become a surprise villain
    Ellie's an agnostic.

 Nintendork 13 13 11:11 pm
    Are they discussing
    zombie afterlife?
    And morality?

 RawkHawk2010 11:12 pm
    Ellie just gave Sam a...

 Nintendork 13 13 11:12 pm
    A Gundam?
    Sam rejected it.

 RawkHawk2010 11:12 pm
    ...yeah.
    lol

 RawkHawk2010 11:12 pm
    oooooooooooh
    did you see that

 Nintendork 13 13 11:12 pm
    The bite?

 RawkHawk2010 11:12 pm
    yea

 Nintendork 13 13 11:12 pm
    ...Surprise villain then?

 RawkHawk2010 11:12 pm
    ...uh oh.
    AHHHHHHHH

 Nintendork 13 13 11:13 pm
    AHJHH

 RawkHawk2010 11:13 pm
    I WAS RIGHT.

 Nintendork 13 13 11:13 pm
    YOU WERE RIGHT
    SURPRISE VILLAIN
    Henry suicide

 RawkHawk2010 11:14 pm
    I'm gonna die tonight motherfucker!

 Nintendork 13 13 11:14 pm
    (In the daytime)

 RawkHawk2010 11:14 pm
    Jackson?
    Mississippi?

 Nintendork 13 13 11:15 pm
    Nathan went into the water
    for no reason.

 RawkHawk2010 11:15 pm
    qte
    more opening gates
    UNDERWATER
    lol at that high five

 Nintendork 13 13 11:16 pm
    dat high-five

 RawkHawk2010 11:16 pm
    That's the most emotion Nathan has shown all game.

 Nintendork 13 13 11:17 pm
    TOMMY

 RawkHawk2010 11:18 pm
    i can't tell who's talking

 Nintendork 13 13 11:18 pm
    I kinda can.

 RawkHawk2010 11:18 pm
    oh boy

 Nintendork 13 13 11:18 pm
    ...
    Not the women.

 RawkHawk2010 11:18 pm
    qte horse riding?

 Nintendork 13 13 11:19 pm
    Nathan isn't saying anything the whole time.

 RawkHawk2010 11:19 pm
    (has the potential to be hilarious.)
    qte to hand a photograph

 Nintendork 13 13 11:20 pm
    lol
    dat sweat

 RawkHawk2010 11:21 pm
    ...

 Nintendork 13 13 11:21 pm
    ...

 RawkHawk2010 11:21 pm
    BOSTON?!

 Nintendork 13 13 11:21 pm
    I thought
    they were in Texas.
    And got to Pensylvania in 5 minutes.

 RawkHawk2010 11:22 pm
    ...so instead they went from Massachusetts to Pennsylvania in 5 minutes?

 Nintendork 13 13 11:22 pm
    ...Yes.
    "I haven't seen a firefly in years."
    I told you they can't be the villains.
    FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT
    "The hell is that?"

 Nintendork 13 13 11:23 pm
    "We're under attack"
    YOU CAN EQUIP A NEW WEAPON BY HOLDING BUTTON
    we're like over halfway through the game now right

 RawkHawk2010 11:23 pm
    ...my Boston Bombings parallel actually makes sense now.

 Nintendork 13 13 11:23 pm
    >_>;

 RawkHawk2010 11:24 pm
    So the Clickers are the Chechnyans?

 Nintendork 13 13 11:24 pm
    For all the complaining you do about Dream Team's tutorials
    look at this game.

 RawkHawk2010 11:24 pm
    At least they run concurrently.
    (Unlike Dream Team's.)

 Nintendork 13 13 11:25 pm
    Ellie stole a horse.
    HORSE-RIDING
    YOU WERE RIGHT

 RawkHawk2010 11:26 pm
    lol
    Now we just need some QTEs.

 Nintendork 13 13 11:26 pm
    Nathan doing his best Link impression.
    ...
    or not

 RawkHawk2010 11:26 pm
    Oh.
    I thought he killed his brother.
    and not a random dude.

 Nintendork 13 13 11:26 pm
    lol

 RawkHawk2010 11:26 pm
    ...
    I feel like we just missed something.
    Oh.

 Nintendork 13 13 11:28 pm
    dat Sarah
    See they WERE gonna mention his daughter sooner or later.

 RawkHawk2010 11:28 pm
    nathan's turn to the dark(er) side

 Nintendork 13 13 11:29 pm
    "you're fucking dead asshole"
    (You're gonna die tonight, motherfucker!)

 RawkHawk2010 11:30 pm
    ...so did Drake change his mind?

 Nintendork 13 13 11:30 pm
    Does he have anything else to do with his life?

 RawkHawk2010 11:30 pm
    The Uncharted series.

 Nintendork 13 13 11:30 pm
    True.

 RawkHawk2010 11:30 pm
    ...but yeah that's kind of it.

 Nintendork 13 13 11:30 pm
    wtf Colorado

 RawkHawk2010 11:31 pm
    They just went from Mississippi to Colorado?
    On horseback?

 Nintendork 13 13 11:31 pm
    They're not at Colorado yet.

 RawkHawk2010 11:31 pm
    In five minutes?

 Nintendork 13 13 11:31 pm
    Their destination is Colorado.

 RawkHawk2010 11:31 pm
    Oh.

 Nintendork 13 13 11:31 pm
    ...I think.
    Well.
    Over.
    We're 2/3s through the game.

 RawkHawk2010 11:32 pm
    You know all this gameplay we're missing?

 Nintendork 13 13 11:33 pm
    uh
    I don't know wot we're actually missing.

 RawkHawk2010 11:33 pm
    I'm not curious about it whatsoever.

 Nintendork 13 13 11:33 pm
    Oh, yeah.


This is the second of a three-part [Koopa Keep] project. Want to join [Koopa Keep]? You gotta have AIM first.


How does the game end? Click for Part 3! 

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